For The Citizen newspaper, column “From the Minister’s Study” -- May 10 2024 Issue
Three ladies were bragging about their
grown sons. The first said, “You should have seen what my boy did for me on my
birthday! He threw a big party at a fancy restaurant -- he even hired a big
band to come and play.” The second lady said, “That's nice, but listen to what
my son did. Last winter he gave me an all-expense-paid cruise to the Greek
islands -- all first class.” The third lady said, “That's nothing! For the last
three years my son has been paying a psychiatrist $150 an hour two times a week
-- and the whole time he talks about nothing but me!”
Our parents leave
us legacies. I don't mean monetary inheritances, but real lasting impact on our
lives -- hopefully more positive than such effects that require counselling.
But our mothers do matter, they can have a profound effect on us.
A London editor submitted to Winston
Churchill for his approval a list of all those who had been Churchill's
teachers. Churchill returned the list with this comment: “You have omitted the
greatest of my teachers -- my mother.”
As Mother’s Day
approaches, we can learn from the faithful, persistent example of a mother whom
Jesus met when travelling far from home (see Matthew 15:21-28). Despite
difficult circumstances and testing, her faith and feistiness prevailed.
Jesus had left
Galilee and gone further north near the coast of the Mediterranean. A Canaanite
woman came and cried out to Him, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My
daughter is suffering terribly from demon-possession.” We're not told the exact
manifestations; perhaps there were seizures, nightmares, overwhelming
depression, multiple personalities, or self-destructiveness. Some young people
today are tormented by negative habits such as cutting, eating disorders,
crystal meth, or other addictions. If a parent does try to intervene, sometimes
they're simply rebuffed and can only stand by and watch as their own child gets
dragged down a destructive path.
But the woman in
our story doesn't just appeal for help for her daughter. She appeals,
"Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me!...Lord, help
me!" Her daughter's condition is affecting her greatly; it's probably
taking a toll on the whole family. But parents may identify with and be
affected severely by their children's problems. Perhaps the mother's not
getting much sleep at night because she hears her daughter crying out in
nightmares. Perhaps she's driven to her wits' end because the girl simply won't
eat and is withering away to skin and bones. Maybe she herself is battling
depression because she knows the personalities being expressed in her
daughter's frame aren't the person the girl used to be. She too is tormented.
Being a mom or
dad, our kids affect us. We're often 'tuned in' in a special way to their
condition. Caring parents identify with their kids and are impacted by what
they're going through.
The Canaanite
woman doesn't just ask once and leave it at that. She's persistent. The
disciples came to Jesus and urged Him to send her away “for she keeps crying
out after us.” Mothering takes persistence. There's a special endurance moms
must have to keep making meals, washing dishes, doing the laundry, tidying the
house, day after day after day (in addition to whatever they may be involved
with outside the home). It can become very wearing.
In one story by Stuart
McLean, Dave's wife Morley describes to him what her life as a mother is like: “My
life is a train... I'm a train dragging everybody from one place to another, to
school and to dance class, and to 'now it's time to get up' and 'now it's time
to go to bed'. I'm a train full of people who complain when you try to get them
into a bed and fight you when you try to get them out of one. That's my job.
And I'm not only the train, I'm the porter and the conductor and the cook and
the engineer and the maintenance man. And I print the tickets and I stack the
luggage and I clean the dishes, and if they still had cabooses, I'd be the
caboose... The train starts at a town called 'first day of school'...and it
goes to a village called 'Halloween' and then through the township of 'class
project' and down the spur line called, 'your sister is visiting'. And do you
know what's at the end of the track? Do you know where my train is heading?... To
the last stop on the line, Christmas dinner... And when we finally get through
that week between Christmas and New Year, do you know what they do with the
train? They back it up during the night when I'm asleep so they can run it
through all the stations again!”
Mothering requires
persistence -- keeping that locomotive moving. The Canaanite woman showed such
persistence in appealing to the Lord.
Being a caregiver
of any kind means you don't give up even when troubles and testing drive you to
your knees. At first Jesus does not respond to this non-Israelite. Finally the
woman comes and kneels right in front of Him, calling out, “Lord, help me!” Kneeling
shows how desperate she is, but also that she's honouring Him while humbling
herself. Sometimes parenting is just that hard, you are driven either to
despair or to worship, one or the other.
Jesus responds,
but doesn't grant the request right away. He says, “It is not right to take the
children's bread and toss it to their dogs.” Conscious of being sent primarily
to minister among the Jews, Jesus is testing her: first by not answering a word
to her, now by this expression. Some people might have gotten offended, thrown
up their hands and gone off in a huff upon hearing Jesus say this. But this
mother's 'dogged' persistence won't be shaken off. She demonstrates her full
range of intelligence and submission by using His own word-picture to nudge the
limits of His immediate mission. She says, "Yes, Lord, but even
the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table." Her faith in
God's overflowing lovingkindness and deep mercy depicts a 'grace mentality':
there's more than enough for every need; God's plentiful riches are available
to everyone, He will bless all those who by faith in Jesus are willing to
receive. She's trusting as Jesus did that “all things are possible with God” (Mark
10:27).
Hearing this,
Jesus holds back no longer. Even though this woman isn't Jewish, she has a firm
grasp of God's Kingdom plan; as promised to Abraham, “all peoples on earth will
be blessed through you.” (Genesis 12:3) Jesus is satisfied she grasps God’s
goodness through trusting. He answers, "Woman, you have great faith! Your
request is granted." And her daughter was instantly healed.
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