This Mysterious Gift of Myrrh

The Citizen, "From the Minister's Study" - Dec.17 2018
    It’s Christmas time again – and those with a Biblical faith background throughout the land will once again be recalling the reason for the season, with the traditional accounts of Mary’s miraculous pregnancy and birth, the visitations of angels, shepherds, and wise men. Carollers will be singing of “Joy to the World”, “Silent Night”, and “We Three Kings”. Children at churches are again acting out the Christmas story, sometimes according to the script, sometimes with unexpected twists – often to the delight of the audience (if occasionally the chagrin of their parents).
    Three small boys were in a Christmas play at school. They represented the three wise men and they were to give their gifts to Baby Jesus. The first boy stepped forward, held out the gift in his hands and said, “Gold.” The second boy stepped forward, held out his gift and exclaimed, “Myrrh.” The third boy stepped forward, held out his gift and stated, “Frank sent this.”
    Well – he almost got it right! (“frankincense”) What actually happened, according to Matthew’s account, is this. “On entering the house, they saw the child with Mary his mother; and they knelt down and paid him homage. Then, opening their treasure chests, they offered him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.” (Matt.2:11 NRSV)
    Two of the three gifts of the Magi make a lot of sense. Gold was valuable; it would help Joseph and Mary survive the upcoming journey as refugees to Egypt once Herod caught wind of the birth of what could potentially be the long-awaited Messiah. Gold is a gift of royal quality, betokening Jesus as our King.
    Frankincense is also a fitting gift referred to often in the Old Testament as a perfuming material added to offerings to created a pleasing aroma. In an associated way, the Bible refers to Jesus as our High Priest. “For this reason he had to be made like his brothers in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people.” (Hebrews 2:17)
    But the third gift of the wise men seems a bit odd to bring to the birth of a baby. One can’t help but wonder, wouldn’t a little knitted outfit with a cap and booties have been more appropriate?! After all, myrrh was a spice used in embalming the dead!
    Not seemingly the “ideal” gift... But then again, that first Christmas happened in less-than-ideal circumstances. Joseph and Mary were far from home, dealing with the upheaval of having to register at Bethlehem in response to an imperial edict designed to make sure citizens complied with their full obligation to render burdensome taxes to their foreign overlords. It couldn’t have come at a worse time, having to make a long journey over rough roads while Mary was nearly full-term in her pregnancy. And the crowded conditions due to many others registering at Bethlehem meant this poor couple had to seek refuge in a stable, a sort of barn, because there was no room in the inn.
    Myrrh acknowledges the less-than-ideal times of sadness, brokenness, and mourning in our lives. Christmas is a difficult time emotionally for some people due to life’s losses. In my own case, this is the first time in 40 years I will be celebrating without my wife, who died this past summer. I guess I really should take down the two long rows of sympathy cards hung along the wall from her funeral, because that’s where we always used to put up our Christmas cards. Our family get-togethers this season just won’t be the same without her.
    Other families experience stress and grief at this season for other reasons. There is the challenge of coming up with finances to cover the cost of gifts. There is the stress of finding suitable dates that don’t conflict in determining the schedule for family functions, work parties, seasonal concerts for school and church, and so on. Plus it may be at times like this that family tensions rise to the surface, perhaps due to marital conflicts or parent-teen differences of opinion.
    “Tis the season to be jolly” – or so we’re told... But that doesn’t sound like OUR family!
    Interesting thing about the production of myrrh: according to the Pictorial Bible Dictionary, myrrh is one of the most valuable of the gum resins; “either naturally or when the stems are injured, the gum oozes from the shrub-like tree.” In other words, the plant ‘bleeds’ (so to speak) to exude its aromatic medicinal sap.
    Significantly, myrrh is mentioned later in the Biblical account of Jesus’ life, in conjunction with His death. At the time of Jesus’ burial, “Nicodemus brought a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about 75 pounds.” (John 19:39) In the words of the writer of the letter to the Hebrews, this high priest-become-sacrifice is able “to sympathize with our weaknesses”. (4:15) Jesus the innocent was crucified unjustly: He was subjected to the full brunt of life’s unfairness. He understands completely our brokenness and disappointments. Just a week after Jesus’ birth, aged Simeon would say prophetically to His mother Mary: “This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.” (Luke 2:34f)
    Is this going to be a tough Christmas for you? Do you sometimes feel like a sword has pierced to the core of your being? Jesus is no stranger to the sorrows and griefs of our human condition. “He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.” (Isaiah 53:3) The Author of your salvation was made perfect through suffering. We’re told Jesus had to be made like us, His brothers [and sisters], “in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.” (Hebrews 2:17-18)
    The myrrh-man bleeds mercy for those who cry out for His help. Merry Christmas!

The Vanishing Virtue of Submission

Nov.12, 2018 - "From the Minister's Study" column, The Citizen
    The recent municipal election has ushered in some new faces on local municipal councils. Let’s salute these brave souls who have stepped up to the plate to provide leadership and accept responsibility for affairs that affect us right where we live. Maybe it’s easiest to praise them now before they make any decisions with which we might take issue!
    Anyone who takes on a leadership capacity soon realizes how difficult it is to please everyone – not that that would necessarily be the right thing to aim for in the first place. I have been privileged to lead local churches as a pastor, larger regional church organizations, and most recently serve on the board of a nearby Bible college which recently had to make some tough decisions regarding staffing and property. My mother’s brother, and her sister’s husband, each served as reeve of a township and later as warden of Perth County. When you’re in such positions, you’re bound to be subjected to criticism, for at least two reasons. First, because of the sheer volume of information required to adequately grasp a given topic, your critics frequently don’t know all the facts even in non-sensitive matters. Second, in some cases, confidentiality prevents you from divulging all the facts of the matter (especially when it comes to staffing issues), so of course it’s easy for outside observers to get a wrong impression and conclude you’re being unfair or have poor judgment.
    It’s all too easy to become critical of those in authority. One might have thought Agnes Macphail, the first woman to be elected to the House of Commons 70 years ago in 1948, would have been highly lauded for her notable accomplishment. But she remarked, “When I was first elected, everything I said was wrong; everything I wore was wrong, everything I did was wrong, to hear comments about them. Bouquets were not thrown at me because I was the only woman in the House. Brickbats were what I got.”
    The spirit of our age is a rebellious one, critical of those in power, scoffing at actions of those in government, supposing ‘plebs’ know better than those who’ve been entrusted with the reins of power. Dale Schlafer, a pastor in Colorado and former chairperson of Promise Keepers, wrote: “Our culture encourages us to not show honour to anyone. We live in a day of egalitarianism that doesn’t allow for differences and appears to treat all people the same. Political and sports cartoonists ridicule those in authority. Comedians poke fun at anyone in a place of prominence. And the average Christian carries that same attitude into the church.”
    The problem of rebellion and lawlessness is not new. One of the lowest (morally speaking) periods in Biblical history was that portrayed by the book of Judges, which closes with the summation – “In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as he saw fit.”  (Judges 21:25) We all want to be our own boss, to be the ultimate judge of things.
    The Apostle Paul warned the early church that a period of general lawlessness would happen before the Lord’s return. “...That day will not come until the rebellion occurs and the man of lawlessness is revealed, the man doomed to destruction... For the secret power of lawlessness is already at work...” (2Thess. 2:3,7)
    Moving against the flow of this cultural current is the Biblical admonition to submit to legitimate authority in various spheres – in the community, at home, and in relations with others who follow Jesus. Several apostles are very forthright in speaking of the need for obeying those in authority. It begins with reverence for God our Creator. James (4:7,10) urges, “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you... Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”
    Because we revere God who is sovereign, that affects how we relate to lesser human authorities. Peter wrote, “Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men... Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honour the king.” (1Peter 2:13ff)
    This does not mean earthly rulers have the right to exploit the poor and generally throw their weight around. There is still a law above them to which they must one day submit for accountability – their job is clearly ‘to commend those who do right’. And as Peter notes, our submission to human authorities is “for the Lord’s sake”, springing from our obligation to Him foremost, for both creating us and for redeeming us from sin and its penalty.
    The Apostle Paul echoes, “Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves... He is God’s servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience.” (Rom.13:1f,4f) Likewise when writing to Titus, “Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.” (Titus 3:1f)
    This vanished virtue of submission is even to be practised with fellow followers of Jesus, peer-to-peer. Paul instructed the church at Ephesus, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Eph. 5:21) Again, note the divine dimension: our submission to one another on a human level springs out of huge respect and love for God - ‘out of reverence for Christ’.
    Mind you, it’s not usually easy to do! It’s difficult to bend our own will to fall in line with someone on an issue about which we strongly disagree. But it’s good for our character and humility (assuming, of course, it’s not an issue of morality that’s at stake).
    In conclusion – let’s take care to honour those who become entrusted with responsibility for our welfare. Often they are doing their level best with what they have to work with. And their most notable accomplishment may even be, not something they did, but some potential blunder they prevented from happening. As Canada’s longest-serving prime minister, William Lyon Mackenzie King, observed: “It is what we prevent, rather than what we do that counts most in Government.”

Remember Who You Are: Prompts for Spiritual Amnesiacs

Oct.1, 2018 - "From the Minister's Study" column, The Citizen
Memory is a wonderful thing. The older you get, the more memories you have, but often the less your ability to remember specific things becomes. We need lists and calendars and device notifications to help “jog” our memories.
    Even worse is when someone has the condition known as amnesia, when perhaps due to a blow to the head in an accident they at least temporarily forget who they are, where they are, and so on.
    Sometimes we who claim to be Christians develop what might be called “spiritual amnesia” – it seems we forget who we are, in Christ. Our behaviour doesn’t line up with our beliefs. In his letter to the church at Ephesus, Paul writes to counteract such “spiritual amnesia”. Inspired by the Holy Spirit, Paul reminds the church who they were; who they are now are already, through faith in Christ; who they will be eventually; and, who they are becoming in this life, with God’s help.
    We inhabit an “I CAN” culture: secular humanism would give young people the impression that people are basically good and you can achieve anything if you set your mind to it. Yet some have observed that the 20th century, the one after philosopher Nietzsche boldly declared “God is dead”, was the bloodiest one yet. Journalist Malcom Muggeridge stated, “The depravity of man is at once the most empirically verifiable reality but at the same time the most intellectually resisted fact.”
    In the first 3 verses of the second chapter of Ephesians, Paul offers a sobering description of our fallen state, cut off from God, in bondage to sin, being commandeered to destruction by our own innate impulses. “As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins...” (Eph.2:1) Sin cuts us off from a Holy God. We were spiritual ‘road kill’. You walk up to a dead coon or groundhog splattered across the pavement, poke it with a stick – it doesn’t move. It can’t, it has no life in it, no ability, nothing. That’s how much spiritual potential we had before we were saved. Our likely future? “We were by nature objects of wrath.” (2:3) God’s wrath. And we deserved it 100%. Although we had been created by Almighty God and blessed with various abilities, each one of us at some point turned away from God and sinned. We thumbed our nose at the very One to whom we owed the gift of life itself. Captive in our sin, following the passions of our humanness, we were fit for only one ultimate destination: hell. To be cut off from God forever, punished for despising and rebelling against Him.
    But Christ’s grace intervened. “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions— it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus...” (Eph 2:4-6) Literally, as NRSV puts it: “Out of the great love with which He loved us...” Sheer richness of mercy, not because we deserved it in the least!
    Who we are now (already) gives a glimmer of what’s to come, who we will be in eternity. God has already showered His love and grace upon us in saving us from destruction and eternal punishment, even though there was not a smidge in us of goodness that deserved it. Even more is to come hereafter! “...In order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.” (Eph.2:7) How God wants to show His grace to us is just begun to be shown to us in this life – much more to follow!
    But Paul also emphasizes Who We Are Becoming. First - a people of faith, hope, and love. “...Ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints... In order that you may know the hope to which He has called you...” (Eph.1:15,18) Second, Paul prays that the church becomes people of the spirit. “I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.” (1:17)
    Third, we are a people who are coming to know God increasingly. “...So that you may know him better.” (1:17b) A mature Christian is one who has come to know God well, has become familiar with God – both through reading the Bible and as you see God’s activity interacting with you in your life.
    Fourth, we are becoming God’s people collectively. It’s not just an individual project you can do all by yourself. Our anabaptist friends remind us of the importance of reading Scripture together in community, which is where small groups are so important! “I pray...that you may know...the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints...” (1:18) You are valuable to God, treasured by Him! And how much more when the whole church is gathered together! Robertson comments, “Our riches is in God; God’s is in His saints.”
    Fifth, we are becoming a people of power. “...That you may know his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead...” (1:19f) You have resurrection-style power available to you for God’s purposes! You needn’t be locked into being a victim: in Christ you can become an overcomer! Even destructive chemical addictions can be overcome (drugs or alcohol), when addicts finally come to the end of their own efforts so they are ready to call out to God for His saving power. It’s when you ‘hit bottom’ you finally realize you can’t do it on your own – it’s going to destroy you if you don’t make a change – you have to come to the place (like the prodigal son) where you ‘come to yourself’ and admit you’ve got to repent and turn to God, whose power alone can break those bonds.
    Sixth, although we’re a people of power, we’re also becoming a people under submission. “[God] seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come.And God placed all things under his feet...” (1:20b-22) How exalted Christ is! Far above all rule, authority, power, dominion (literally ‘lordships’), titles. All things are placed under His feet. The cross is the ultimate corrective to our bullying.
    Last, we are becoming people implementing Christ’s headship. “[God]...appointed [Christ] to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” (1:22b-23) How are we (collectively in the church) Jesus’ “fullness”, completing His presence here in this corner of the galaxy today??! When you sit and listen to a friend going through a tough time, then offer to pray for them, you are bringing Jesus’ presence into that situation very tangibly.
    In summary – we’re not who we were – God had mercy on this ‘spiritual road kill’. And we’re not yet who we will be – not by a long shot. When Jesus returns, we will be ‘like Him’ (1Jn 3:2). But by God’s grace, we are becoming His people more fully with each passing year, as we keep submitting to His headship and plugging in to His divine power.

Lessons from the House of Mourning

[‘From the Minister’s Study’ column for local newspaper The Citizen]

Ralph Waldo Emerson observed, “Sorrow makes us all children again, destroys all differences in intellect. The wisest knows nothing.”

It is a month since my wife died. It was about as peaceful a demise as one could wish for – at home, with one’s spouse and a caring Personal Support Worker at one’s side, the community nurse there just moments before; a mercifully swift and relatively painless cessation of 15 years’ battling a brain tumour. As Yvonne’s husband I was blessed with the support of many from the medical side of things and also our own friends and church family. But it is still a huge loss. As a spouse one feels suddenly lopsided, there’s a huge hole because one’s sole long-term partner – one’s “soul mate” for what would have been 40 years of marriage this month – is suddenly no longer there.

Before such loss, such sorrow, as Emerson says, we are ‘all children again’. Intellectual prowess cannot satisfactorily debate grief. Still, what can we learn from this experience? Ecclesiastes 7:2 notes, “It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of everyone; the living should take this to heart.” As we “take to heart” another’s demise, what may God be trying to teach us?

It certainly helps us develop empathy with others who have lost their spouse. Sometimes this is through death; other times it is through divorce, which has its own kind of grief attached to it. In Canada, the Vanier Institute of the family found the divorce rate was 38% (based on 2006 data). So out of 100 marriages involving 200 people, on average nationally 76 people (38 marriages) will suffer the grief of divorce; of the remaining 62 marriages or 124 people, half – 62 persons – will suffer the grief of widowhood. Overall, then, it would seem likely more people will suffer the grief of divorce than of widowhood.

The Apostle Paul enjoined Christians, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” (Romans 12:15) When Jesus arrived at the home of Mary and Martha, even though He would soon raise Lazarus from the dead, we read: “When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.” (John 11:33) A caring response to those who mourn is to weep with them, share their sense of loss, show them by the simplest of gestures that we love them and participate in their grief. “To weep is to make less the depth of grief.” (Wm. Shakespeare)

Another lesson death teaches us is to not be presumptuous about our own longevity, or too cocky about our own potential success. Life is fragile and we cannot bank on tomorrow. Psalm 90 purports to be “A prayer of Moses the man of God” – it does reflect a profound appreciation for life’s transitoriness, describing how God “sweep[s] men away in the sleep of death” (v.5). “The length of our days is seventy years – or eighty, if we have the strength; yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away... Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” (Ps. 90:10,12)

Now that my wife has died, I am certainly glad I set some boundaries (with her prompting and support) early on in my ministry to guard against spending too many hours on the job (target of normally no more than 3 evenings out per week for church work, for example). Your time with your spouse is limited. You may not have golden retirement years together. Is it really worth the toll on your marriage and children to put in all those extra overtime hours in order to get that job promotion or pay raise? Once they’re dead, money can’t bring them back! Be taught to number your days aright; become wise in your use of time.

James reproaches the arrogance of those who bank on tomorrow, assuming they will have many years to live. “Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” (James 4:13f) A sudden unexpected diagnosis like brain cancer, or debilitating disease like MS, can suddenly throw those big-bucks plans out the window. Are you cultivating a quality relationship with your spouse that does not depend on amassing a fortune? Can you treasure each day together, the simplest date spontaneities?

For me, the thing my spouse’s premature demise has most impressed on me is the preciousness of our shared Christian faith. People commented on the uplifting tone of Yvonne’s funeral, spurred on by the music she specifically chose in advance, reinforced by the testimony of those who knew her, valued her character, and vouched for her trust in Jesus her Saviour. Death has a way of forcing us to re-evaluate all we consider most important about life: what are our rock-bottom non-negotiables?

The Apostle Paul rehearsed for the church at Corinth the facts he considered to be “of first importance”, namely – “that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures...” (1Cor.15:3f) How can we be sure of this? Because the earliest eyewitnesses testified about this on pain of death.  If you think about it, it’s death in fact that underlines or guarantees the veracity of the resurrection account: all of Jesus’ disciples (apart from Judas, of course) were killed refusing to back down from their conviction that Jesus had risen from the dead. People don’t die for what they know to be a lie.

Before death, Jesus promised the Twelve, “And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.” (John 14:3) Paul explained his preference would be to depart and be with Christ which is “better by far” than this earthly life (Philippians 1:23). I couldn’t wish Yvonne back! These fundamental scripture truths give assurance that my loved one is now being cared for by One who fashioned her in the womb and loved her profoundly long before I ever knew her – and will continue doing so on into eternity. So as Paul puts it, we who trust in Christ do not “grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.”

The ‘house of mourning’ has valuable lessons for us, if we will take them to heart. The mortality rate is still 100%. Better to prepare for the inevitable now than be taken by surprise. Woody Allen quipped, “It’s not that I’m afraid to die; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”

Don’t suppose you will somehow magically be let off the hook. Pulitzer-winning bestselling author William Saroyan lay dying in New York city of cancer, which had spread to several of his vital organs. One evening he placed a call to Associated Press. Identifying himself to the reporter who answered his call, he said: “Everybody has got to die. But I have always believed an exception would be made in my case. Now what?” And then he hung up the phone.

Blast 'em Out of Their Seats

INTRO TO “SOUL’S DESIRE” (BY ROBIN MARK) AT YVONNE’S FUNERAL - July 16, 2018

This next song, which is a video we’re going to invite you to stay sitting and just sing along to as the lyrics come on the screen, is a pretty special one. Yvonne in her own handwriting back on Nov. 29 2004 set out some “Funeral Wishes and Requests” - at that point, some 14 years ago, she’d already been dealing with the pain and discomfort and complications of this brain tumour for a couple of years. She clearly specified, as she put it, “No organ music droning in the background please...” (Instead, along with the other songs we’re using for congregational singing, quote) “Robin Mark ‘Revival in Belfast II’ CD [turn it up on #9 - blast em out of their seats (smiley) & imagine me singing from Heaven].”

Robin Mark was probably Yvonne’s most favourite musical artist; he’s a Brit, from Northern Ireland, and we’ve had opportunity to see him perform in person numerous times. This song though, called “Soul’s Desire”, is particularly masterfully done. In part, it goes:

Lord of the Earth the sea the sky
In glory and power
How can it be that I’m Your child
And You are my Father...
There’s a flag in my hand
and I am waving, I am waving
waving it for you just to make you smile.

The image here is of a little child, son or daughter, yearning to catch their father’s gaze and know they are pleasing him by such a simple act as waving a flag. Christian faith at its root is about this intimacy with a loving Heavenly Father.

Sin and evil are revolting to a holy God; divine wrath is justifiably waiting to be poured out upon human rebellion and depravity, it’s abominable to the glorious almighty Creator that His Creatures would turn their backs on Him and refuse to honour and glorify Him. That’s the essence of sin – preferring anything else over God, who is all-glorious, perfect, good, holy, beautiful, radiant, and loving. The image a lot of people have of God is some gruff old codger waiting to nail us when we mess up (so they write God off – who could possibly warm up to that?).

But the New Testament and most especially the cross of Jesus change all that. The Good News is that the Father sent the Son to take upon Himself our sin and guilt and shame, suffering in our place so we could be forgiven and ‘put right’ with God, brought back together, the relationship restored and us transformed, given a heart transplant. Romans 5:8, “God demonstrates His own love toward us in that, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” That changes the whole dynamic! Now through faith in Jesus, we can enjoy a loving, warm, intimate relationship with a caring heavenly Father who delights in His children. Galatians 3:26 & 4:6, “For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus...And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, ‘Abba! Father!’ [papa]”

A little girl, catching that gleam in her daddy’s eye, seeing his smile, knowing he’s pleased with her... Zephaniah 3:17, “He will rejoice over you with singing” – I know nothing would make Yvonne more happy than if one of those listening came to grasp that truth for the first time today.

“You are my soul’s desire,” the song says. Yvonne had to put up with listening to a lot of John Piper’s podcasts in the car with me. His thrust is Christian hedonism, that “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.” We can fight sin best by seeing and savouring the greatness and goodness of our Lord and Saviour – Desiring God above any other false god Satan might try to entice us with. Paul in prison, preparing himself to be executed if it comes to that, could write to the Philippians in 1:21, “For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” Jesus is glorified especially in the hour of our death when it becomes apparent to all around that we prefer Him, we desire Him more than anything this world can offer. As Paul puts it in the next breath (1:23), “having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better”!

So, as we sing, let’s do as Yvonne says, ‘imagine me singing from Heaven’ – at peace, finding pleasure in God’s presence, knowing the Heavenly Father’s delight; “I will exalt Your name again, Most High, every way I can.”

Rounding 3rd Base, Heading for Home

It's an endearing scene. The baseball player has just rounded third base, high-fived the coach, and is headed toward a crowd of teammates clustered around home plate ready to welcome him.

Of course, baseball had not been invented when the New Testament was written, but its authors used imagery that was somewhat analogous...

• "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us..." (Hebrews 12:1)
• "Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." (2Peter 1:10f)

'A great cloud of witnesses...' 'A RICH welcome...'  I like that!

It would seem that Yvonne is "rounding the final bend" in her journey toward her heavenly home. A couple of weeks ago she started having difficulty standing or keeping her balance. The LHIN team brought in a "sit-to-stand lift" and provided training on it to various PSWs (Personal Support Workers) so they could manage the transfers and personal care Yvonne required. June 30 Yvonne seemed very much affected by the heat wave that lasted several days into the following week -- she was unable to stay sitting upright at the table, her pulse was rapid and her blood pressure elevated -- so we relocated to our basement until the oppressive heat lifted. Her vital signs seemed to return to nearer normal levels.

Yesterday something new happened on the way to church: I had been seating her in the rollator/walker for the transfer from our front door to the car, but this time she seemed unable to sit upright, instead becoming a sort of "floppy doll" requiring support. Plus she slept most of the day, even through the church service and its singing which she usually enjoys.
 
Today Yvonne had her next scheduled MRI and follow-up with her neuroncologist. It confirmed our suspicions from our previous meeting June 15: it would seem the chemotherapy is having negligible effect. The tumour on her left side (reversed in the picture, opposite the original right frontal lobectomy) has grown rather than shrunk. (see photo: today's scan on left, one from March on right)

Her bloodwork did not exactly portray a rosey picture, either. Her blood sugar was high, probably affected by the steroid she is taking (dexamethasone). Her liver seems affected: bilirubin and enzymes were both over normal limits. Plus it seems she is dehydrated.

Consequently Dr. Macdonald determined it would be best to stop the chemotherapy (temozolomide) as this may help the liver recover. He is also ramping down the steroid partly to address the blood sugar issue. "Comfort measures" from this point on.

After discussion with the family, last Tuesday when the nurse was here I had requested signing of the "Do Not Resuscitate" (DNR) paperwork in order that the EDITH (Expected Death In The Home) could be put in place, and it seemed the kinder and gentler approach to spare Yvonne extraordinary recovery-attempt measures (chest pumping, electric shock, intubation etc.) when probability of a satisfactory recovery seems minute.

I asked the neuroncologist and the resident what their 'best guess' in terms of time left for Yvonne would be -- knowing of course they can't tell for sure, but they have much experience with many other patients in similar condition. Dr. Macdonald estimated 'less than a month'; the resident was even less optimistic - 'days'.

Listening to a Ravi Zacharias podcast in the car, we were reminded of the four key areas any worldview has to address: questions of origin (how did we get here?), destiny (where are we going?), meaning (why am I here?), and morality (how do we determine what's right and wrong?). Yvonne & I stopped in to visit another parishioner at another hospital on the way home. He remarked concerning Yvonne, "At least we know where she's going." Thanks to Jesus' sacrifice at the cross so we can be forgiven, and God's gift of faith in Him, we have confidence concerning her destiny at least. While she is indeed rounding the last bend in her earthly journey, a warm welcome awaits her from a faithful cloud of witnesses -- and our Eternal Contemporary.

Chemo Continues - For Now

Today we had a routine appointment with Yvonne's neuroncologist at London Regional Cancer Program (Victoria Hospital). He noticed Yvonne's poorer condition -- not able to lift her left leg when he asked her; although I was surprised she was able to still hold out her arms reasonably well and squeeze his hands when directed. Her bloodwork showed her platelets (which sometimes in the past have taken a hit with the Temodal chemotherapy) were staying up, which is good. I noted a significant amount of her hair has come out in the past few weeks when I comb it each morning, after the radiation was completed May 14.

At first Dr. Macdonald seemed to be questioning whether the chemotherapy was doing much good. I countered that it's difficult to say when we can't tell how much worse she would have been if she had not been receiving chemo! Later I admitted that, although we don't have those results, as neuroncologist he does see a lot of patients that are likely similar to Yvonne, and I asked how she compared to them. He said, on that basis, if the chemo had been shrinking the tumour significantly, he would have expected her to be resuming her former functioning. I suppose an example would be reading aloud for him the sign on the door as she was able to do April 13, and certainly could NOT do today.

In the end, he relented and approved continuation of the chemo at least until her upcoming MRI July 9. That day he plans for us to stop in so we can see the resulting images (the radiologist report won't be ready until at least a day after).

He also approved an increase in the steroid Yvonne is taking (dexamethasone) which helps reduce swelling inside the brain (although it results in a puffy face). We had been tapering off it from the initial 16 mg/day to current 4 mg/day, but she is going back up to 12 mg/day in hopes this will help her functioning.

There was a bit of discussion about whether she should be going into the hospital in near future, and whether a "DNR" (Do Not Resuscitate) order would be appropriate. I explained I had been reluctant to put this in place as she had been still relatively functional until a couple of weeks ago. The nurse questioned me about it again Wednesday. I had a discussion with a fellow pastor this week, who was of the opinion it is probably the compassionate approach at this point. A "DNR" would need to be in place if I am to arrange an "EDITH". Yes Edith was actually Yvonne's maternal grandmother's name! (incorporated into our daughter Meredith's name) But this "EDITH" is short for "Expected Death In The Home" and means if Yvonne died at home, we wouldn't have to call 911 emergency services; procedures would be handled quietly through the visiting nursing service already in place. I like the low-key aspect of an EDITH, but had not yet mentally or emotionally crossed the bridge of the DNR order it would necessitate.

I realize from a point of view of individual "quality of life", Yvonne's state is diminishing significantly. However I also see it as a 'system' issue, not just the 'individual' one. She has a generous team of volunteers who have been lavishing love upon her with their time and their tasty cooking. Our children have started a Whatsapp Group called "Hi Mum!" in which they and the grandchildren have been submitting videos on a more or less daily rotating basis for Yvonne to watch (and she does enjoy watching them). From a Biblical viewpoint, as her husband I am "one flesh" with her (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:6) so I too am part of the equation. To evaluate "quality of life" solely from an individual point of view seems shortsighted; Yvonne is part of many overlapping circles of significant caring, mutually-enriching, relationship.

Late this afternoon, the Occupational Therapist stopped by in response to a report issued through our PSW (Personal Support Worker) network. Wednesday "W" the PSW was escorting Yvonne from her recliner to the washroom with the walker when Yvonne's legs collapsed under her. "W" called me at work and I came home a bit early to help get Yvonne up off the floor and into bed. "W" said the time was probably coming when more equipment would be needed in order for them to do their job safely. So the Occupational Therapist today agreed and we are looking into: a "sit-to-stand lift" (example), a hospital bed (saves PSW's back when doing personal care, and our present bed doesn't have clearance for the sit-to-stand lift underneath), and a commode chair (our ensuite bathroom is pretty tiny to try to get equipment like a lift or transfer chair into).

Thanks everyone for taking time to follow Yvonne's progress, for your prayers, and support!

“Doubting Affliction’s Design”

(Column for "From the Minister's Study" in North Huron's The Citizen newspaper)

            Driving to work after leaving my wife in the capable supervision of a Huron Hospice volunteer, my attention was arrested by the podcast speaker’s statement: “God designs all the afflictions of the godly for the increase of their everlasting joy.” What?! God actually intends or designs afflictions for those who are His? This goes against the tendency of many faithful to try to absolve God of any responsibility for bad things that happen; we instead prefer to blame our woes on attacks from Satan.

            The problem of pain and suffering has added poignancy for me recently since my wife’s brain tumour, 15 years after her initial lobectomy, returned with a vengeance between her routine November 2017 and March 2018  MRI scans. Measuring 22 mm and upgraded to an aggressive Grade 4 category, it prompted the neuroncologist to say she was now “probably palliative” – the end of the line was coming into view. Nevertheless, the neuroncologist and radiologist both approved further treatment to stave off progression of the disease, so my wife has received the benefit of further radiation and chemotherapy.

            Still, there have been disturbing signs: her inability to communicate more than an occasional dubious “yes” or “no”; her lack of balance, resulting in numerous falls; and just this past Sunday while standing to sing at church, her legs had given out on her, requiring other members of the congregation to assist me getting her back into her chair. Prospects were not bright.

            A natural and even logical response might be to become angry and bitter, blaming fate for this preempting of what are normally hoped to be happier, ‘golden’, more relaxed, retirement years. All but one of our dozen grandchildren are just ten years old or under! One begins to survey wistfully the social media posts of colleagues who are jetting off to exotic tourist spots at this stage of life.

            Disease and affliction can prompt angry reactions. One friend posted on social media the news of a young twentysomething mother of four who suddenly found out she had a brain tumour. At the end of the post, amongst various other hashtags, was included the increasingly popular expletive, “#f---cancer”. Is that the most profound thing we can say when circumstances take a nosedive for us? Do we have a right, is our cause just, to lash out angrily when it becomes apparent our life may be terminated unexpectedly prematurely and painfully?

            This makes the statement by the podcast speaker, John Piper, all the more startling... “God designs all the afflictions of the godly for the increase of their everlasting joy.” Piper wasdefending his portrayal of New England Puritan theologian Jonathan Edwards as a Christian hedonist. Piper went on to paraphrase Edwards’ sentiment thus: “In other words, the only troubles that God permits in the lives of his children are those that will bring more pleasure than trouble with them — when all things are considered.” This would make it more palatable to speak of God ‘designing’ afflictions for our joy’s increase, if it can be shown that they will make our end-state ultimately more joyful. The troubles will be worth it.

            To back up this assertion, Piper notes Edwards cites four Biblical references: #1 “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven.” (Matthew 5:11–12) #2 “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.” (James 1:2–3) #3 “Then they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonour for the name.” (Acts 5:41) #4 “You joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one.” (Hebrews 10:34)

            References 1, 3, and 4 seem to be more in the context of blatant persecution rather than suffering in general. Still, there are some relevant inductions that can be made. There is a reward in heaven that corresponds to our difficulties on earth. It is possible to rejoice despite suffering, when the connection can be made between our suffering and the honour of Christ’s name. And, a “better” and abiding possession awaits believers in the next life, even if this present earthly one comes up short.

            To me, it seems the quotation from James (#2) is most broadly applicable to our troubles in general. God allows us to experience trials so that our faith can be tested, it proves itself to be “the real McCoy” – and this testing produces steadfastness, un-rockability of conviction. A similar thought is found in Hebrews 12: “Endure hardship as discipline... God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” (Heb 12:7a,10b-11) God has designed trials to produce the end result of holiness and righteousness. He’s grooming us to reflect His character, rather than just for our comfort.

            The Lord Jesus expressed something similar when describing God’s overall growth plan for us using the familiar metaphor of a grape vine and its branches. Not only do we need to remain connected to Christ as the ‘vine’ and source of sustenance; we need to be prepared to accept the ‘pruning’ of the Divine Gardener. “...Every branch that does bear fruit He prunes so that it will be even more fruitful... This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” (John 15:2b,8) There are no shortcuts to fruitfulness! Our steadfast trust in our Sovereign God in the face of hardship, convinced that He knows what He’s doing despite all appearances to the contrary, brings honour and glory to God.

            Another Scripture promise I cling to in this regard comes from one of the apostles who suffered most severely, Paul, who wrote: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” (2Cor. 1:3-4) Here, troubles not only provide an opportunity for God to show us His Holy Spirit is indeed the Comforter; troubles also provide the Body of the church a chance to practice sharing comfort with others.

            During my wife’s illness, we have been blessed by many volunteers delivering meals and taking time to visit with her while I carry on my employment duties. Then one day this past week, a couple of dozen workers showed up to spend several hours grooming our flowerbeds and generally improving our yard, making a startling improvement in its appearance. Several remarked what a good time they had doing it, too. So hardships and afflictions not only give the individual a chance to grow spiritually: they provide the faith community a platform from which to show forth God’s lovingkindness in a tangible way. Sounds like something He might have designed for our good and His glory!