Blast 'em Out of Their Seats

INTRO TO “SOUL’S DESIRE” (BY ROBIN MARK) AT YVONNE’S FUNERAL - July 16, 2018

This next song, which is a video we’re going to invite you to stay sitting and just sing along to as the lyrics come on the screen, is a pretty special one. Yvonne in her own handwriting back on Nov. 29 2004 set out some “Funeral Wishes and Requests” - at that point, some 14 years ago, she’d already been dealing with the pain and discomfort and complications of this brain tumour for a couple of years. She clearly specified, as she put it, “No organ music droning in the background please...” (Instead, along with the other songs we’re using for congregational singing, quote) “Robin Mark ‘Revival in Belfast II’ CD [turn it up on #9 - blast em out of their seats (smiley) & imagine me singing from Heaven].”

Robin Mark was probably Yvonne’s most favourite musical artist; he’s a Brit, from Northern Ireland, and we’ve had opportunity to see him perform in person numerous times. This song though, called “Soul’s Desire”, is particularly masterfully done. In part, it goes:

Lord of the Earth the sea the sky
In glory and power
How can it be that I’m Your child
And You are my Father...
There’s a flag in my hand
and I am waving, I am waving
waving it for you just to make you smile.

The image here is of a little child, son or daughter, yearning to catch their father’s gaze and know they are pleasing him by such a simple act as waving a flag. Christian faith at its root is about this intimacy with a loving Heavenly Father.

Sin and evil are revolting to a holy God; divine wrath is justifiably waiting to be poured out upon human rebellion and depravity, it’s abominable to the glorious almighty Creator that His Creatures would turn their backs on Him and refuse to honour and glorify Him. That’s the essence of sin – preferring anything else over God, who is all-glorious, perfect, good, holy, beautiful, radiant, and loving. The image a lot of people have of God is some gruff old codger waiting to nail us when we mess up (so they write God off – who could possibly warm up to that?).

But the New Testament and most especially the cross of Jesus change all that. The Good News is that the Father sent the Son to take upon Himself our sin and guilt and shame, suffering in our place so we could be forgiven and ‘put right’ with God, brought back together, the relationship restored and us transformed, given a heart transplant. Romans 5:8, “God demonstrates His own love toward us in that, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” That changes the whole dynamic! Now through faith in Jesus, we can enjoy a loving, warm, intimate relationship with a caring heavenly Father who delights in His children. Galatians 3:26 & 4:6, “For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus...And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, ‘Abba! Father!’ [papa]”

A little girl, catching that gleam in her daddy’s eye, seeing his smile, knowing he’s pleased with her... Zephaniah 3:17, “He will rejoice over you with singing” – I know nothing would make Yvonne more happy than if one of those listening came to grasp that truth for the first time today.

“You are my soul’s desire,” the song says. Yvonne had to put up with listening to a lot of John Piper’s podcasts in the car with me. His thrust is Christian hedonism, that “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.” We can fight sin best by seeing and savouring the greatness and goodness of our Lord and Saviour – Desiring God above any other false god Satan might try to entice us with. Paul in prison, preparing himself to be executed if it comes to that, could write to the Philippians in 1:21, “For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” Jesus is glorified especially in the hour of our death when it becomes apparent to all around that we prefer Him, we desire Him more than anything this world can offer. As Paul puts it in the next breath (1:23), “having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better”!

So, as we sing, let’s do as Yvonne says, ‘imagine me singing from Heaven’ – at peace, finding pleasure in God’s presence, knowing the Heavenly Father’s delight; “I will exalt Your name again, Most High, every way I can.”

Rounding 3rd Base, Heading for Home

It's an endearing scene. The baseball player has just rounded third base, high-fived the coach, and is headed toward a crowd of teammates clustered around home plate ready to welcome him.

Of course, baseball had not been invented when the New Testament was written, but its authors used imagery that was somewhat analogous...

• "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us..." (Hebrews 12:1)
• "Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." (2Peter 1:10f)

'A great cloud of witnesses...' 'A RICH welcome...'  I like that!

It would seem that Yvonne is "rounding the final bend" in her journey toward her heavenly home. A couple of weeks ago she started having difficulty standing or keeping her balance. The LHIN team brought in a "sit-to-stand lift" and provided training on it to various PSWs (Personal Support Workers) so they could manage the transfers and personal care Yvonne required. June 30 Yvonne seemed very much affected by the heat wave that lasted several days into the following week -- she was unable to stay sitting upright at the table, her pulse was rapid and her blood pressure elevated -- so we relocated to our basement until the oppressive heat lifted. Her vital signs seemed to return to nearer normal levels.

Yesterday something new happened on the way to church: I had been seating her in the rollator/walker for the transfer from our front door to the car, but this time she seemed unable to sit upright, instead becoming a sort of "floppy doll" requiring support. Plus she slept most of the day, even through the church service and its singing which she usually enjoys.
 
Today Yvonne had her next scheduled MRI and follow-up with her neuroncologist. It confirmed our suspicions from our previous meeting June 15: it would seem the chemotherapy is having negligible effect. The tumour on her left side (reversed in the picture, opposite the original right frontal lobectomy) has grown rather than shrunk. (see photo: today's scan on left, one from March on right)

Her bloodwork did not exactly portray a rosey picture, either. Her blood sugar was high, probably affected by the steroid she is taking (dexamethasone). Her liver seems affected: bilirubin and enzymes were both over normal limits. Plus it seems she is dehydrated.

Consequently Dr. Macdonald determined it would be best to stop the chemotherapy (temozolomide) as this may help the liver recover. He is also ramping down the steroid partly to address the blood sugar issue. "Comfort measures" from this point on.

After discussion with the family, last Tuesday when the nurse was here I had requested signing of the "Do Not Resuscitate" (DNR) paperwork in order that the EDITH (Expected Death In The Home) could be put in place, and it seemed the kinder and gentler approach to spare Yvonne extraordinary recovery-attempt measures (chest pumping, electric shock, intubation etc.) when probability of a satisfactory recovery seems minute.

I asked the neuroncologist and the resident what their 'best guess' in terms of time left for Yvonne would be -- knowing of course they can't tell for sure, but they have much experience with many other patients in similar condition. Dr. Macdonald estimated 'less than a month'; the resident was even less optimistic - 'days'.

Listening to a Ravi Zacharias podcast in the car, we were reminded of the four key areas any worldview has to address: questions of origin (how did we get here?), destiny (where are we going?), meaning (why am I here?), and morality (how do we determine what's right and wrong?). Yvonne & I stopped in to visit another parishioner at another hospital on the way home. He remarked concerning Yvonne, "At least we know where she's going." Thanks to Jesus' sacrifice at the cross so we can be forgiven, and God's gift of faith in Him, we have confidence concerning her destiny at least. While she is indeed rounding the last bend in her earthly journey, a warm welcome awaits her from a faithful cloud of witnesses -- and our Eternal Contemporary.

Chemo Continues - For Now

Today we had a routine appointment with Yvonne's neuroncologist at London Regional Cancer Program (Victoria Hospital). He noticed Yvonne's poorer condition -- not able to lift her left leg when he asked her; although I was surprised she was able to still hold out her arms reasonably well and squeeze his hands when directed. Her bloodwork showed her platelets (which sometimes in the past have taken a hit with the Temodal chemotherapy) were staying up, which is good. I noted a significant amount of her hair has come out in the past few weeks when I comb it each morning, after the radiation was completed May 14.

At first Dr. Macdonald seemed to be questioning whether the chemotherapy was doing much good. I countered that it's difficult to say when we can't tell how much worse she would have been if she had not been receiving chemo! Later I admitted that, although we don't have those results, as neuroncologist he does see a lot of patients that are likely similar to Yvonne, and I asked how she compared to them. He said, on that basis, if the chemo had been shrinking the tumour significantly, he would have expected her to be resuming her former functioning. I suppose an example would be reading aloud for him the sign on the door as she was able to do April 13, and certainly could NOT do today.

In the end, he relented and approved continuation of the chemo at least until her upcoming MRI July 9. That day he plans for us to stop in so we can see the resulting images (the radiologist report won't be ready until at least a day after).

He also approved an increase in the steroid Yvonne is taking (dexamethasone) which helps reduce swelling inside the brain (although it results in a puffy face). We had been tapering off it from the initial 16 mg/day to current 4 mg/day, but she is going back up to 12 mg/day in hopes this will help her functioning.

There was a bit of discussion about whether she should be going into the hospital in near future, and whether a "DNR" (Do Not Resuscitate) order would be appropriate. I explained I had been reluctant to put this in place as she had been still relatively functional until a couple of weeks ago. The nurse questioned me about it again Wednesday. I had a discussion with a fellow pastor this week, who was of the opinion it is probably the compassionate approach at this point. A "DNR" would need to be in place if I am to arrange an "EDITH". Yes Edith was actually Yvonne's maternal grandmother's name! (incorporated into our daughter Meredith's name) But this "EDITH" is short for "Expected Death In The Home" and means if Yvonne died at home, we wouldn't have to call 911 emergency services; procedures would be handled quietly through the visiting nursing service already in place. I like the low-key aspect of an EDITH, but had not yet mentally or emotionally crossed the bridge of the DNR order it would necessitate.

I realize from a point of view of individual "quality of life", Yvonne's state is diminishing significantly. However I also see it as a 'system' issue, not just the 'individual' one. She has a generous team of volunteers who have been lavishing love upon her with their time and their tasty cooking. Our children have started a Whatsapp Group called "Hi Mum!" in which they and the grandchildren have been submitting videos on a more or less daily rotating basis for Yvonne to watch (and she does enjoy watching them). From a Biblical viewpoint, as her husband I am "one flesh" with her (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:6) so I too am part of the equation. To evaluate "quality of life" solely from an individual point of view seems shortsighted; Yvonne is part of many overlapping circles of significant caring, mutually-enriching, relationship.

Late this afternoon, the Occupational Therapist stopped by in response to a report issued through our PSW (Personal Support Worker) network. Wednesday "W" the PSW was escorting Yvonne from her recliner to the washroom with the walker when Yvonne's legs collapsed under her. "W" called me at work and I came home a bit early to help get Yvonne up off the floor and into bed. "W" said the time was probably coming when more equipment would be needed in order for them to do their job safely. So the Occupational Therapist today agreed and we are looking into: a "sit-to-stand lift" (example), a hospital bed (saves PSW's back when doing personal care, and our present bed doesn't have clearance for the sit-to-stand lift underneath), and a commode chair (our ensuite bathroom is pretty tiny to try to get equipment like a lift or transfer chair into).

Thanks everyone for taking time to follow Yvonne's progress, for your prayers, and support!

“Doubting Affliction’s Design”

(Column for "From the Minister's Study" in North Huron's The Citizen newspaper)

            Driving to work after leaving my wife in the capable supervision of a Huron Hospice volunteer, my attention was arrested by the podcast speaker’s statement: “God designs all the afflictions of the godly for the increase of their everlasting joy.” What?! God actually intends or designs afflictions for those who are His? This goes against the tendency of many faithful to try to absolve God of any responsibility for bad things that happen; we instead prefer to blame our woes on attacks from Satan.

            The problem of pain and suffering has added poignancy for me recently since my wife’s brain tumour, 15 years after her initial lobectomy, returned with a vengeance between her routine November 2017 and March 2018  MRI scans. Measuring 22 mm and upgraded to an aggressive Grade 4 category, it prompted the neuroncologist to say she was now “probably palliative” – the end of the line was coming into view. Nevertheless, the neuroncologist and radiologist both approved further treatment to stave off progression of the disease, so my wife has received the benefit of further radiation and chemotherapy.

            Still, there have been disturbing signs: her inability to communicate more than an occasional dubious “yes” or “no”; her lack of balance, resulting in numerous falls; and just this past Sunday while standing to sing at church, her legs had given out on her, requiring other members of the congregation to assist me getting her back into her chair. Prospects were not bright.

            A natural and even logical response might be to become angry and bitter, blaming fate for this preempting of what are normally hoped to be happier, ‘golden’, more relaxed, retirement years. All but one of our dozen grandchildren are just ten years old or under! One begins to survey wistfully the social media posts of colleagues who are jetting off to exotic tourist spots at this stage of life.

            Disease and affliction can prompt angry reactions. One friend posted on social media the news of a young twentysomething mother of four who suddenly found out she had a brain tumour. At the end of the post, amongst various other hashtags, was included the increasingly popular expletive, “#f---cancer”. Is that the most profound thing we can say when circumstances take a nosedive for us? Do we have a right, is our cause just, to lash out angrily when it becomes apparent our life may be terminated unexpectedly prematurely and painfully?

            This makes the statement by the podcast speaker, John Piper, all the more startling... “God designs all the afflictions of the godly for the increase of their everlasting joy.” Piper wasdefending his portrayal of New England Puritan theologian Jonathan Edwards as a Christian hedonist. Piper went on to paraphrase Edwards’ sentiment thus: “In other words, the only troubles that God permits in the lives of his children are those that will bring more pleasure than trouble with them — when all things are considered.” This would make it more palatable to speak of God ‘designing’ afflictions for our joy’s increase, if it can be shown that they will make our end-state ultimately more joyful. The troubles will be worth it.

            To back up this assertion, Piper notes Edwards cites four Biblical references: #1 “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven.” (Matthew 5:11–12) #2 “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.” (James 1:2–3) #3 “Then they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonour for the name.” (Acts 5:41) #4 “You joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one.” (Hebrews 10:34)

            References 1, 3, and 4 seem to be more in the context of blatant persecution rather than suffering in general. Still, there are some relevant inductions that can be made. There is a reward in heaven that corresponds to our difficulties on earth. It is possible to rejoice despite suffering, when the connection can be made between our suffering and the honour of Christ’s name. And, a “better” and abiding possession awaits believers in the next life, even if this present earthly one comes up short.

            To me, it seems the quotation from James (#2) is most broadly applicable to our troubles in general. God allows us to experience trials so that our faith can be tested, it proves itself to be “the real McCoy” – and this testing produces steadfastness, un-rockability of conviction. A similar thought is found in Hebrews 12: “Endure hardship as discipline... God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” (Heb 12:7a,10b-11) God has designed trials to produce the end result of holiness and righteousness. He’s grooming us to reflect His character, rather than just for our comfort.

            The Lord Jesus expressed something similar when describing God’s overall growth plan for us using the familiar metaphor of a grape vine and its branches. Not only do we need to remain connected to Christ as the ‘vine’ and source of sustenance; we need to be prepared to accept the ‘pruning’ of the Divine Gardener. “...Every branch that does bear fruit He prunes so that it will be even more fruitful... This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” (John 15:2b,8) There are no shortcuts to fruitfulness! Our steadfast trust in our Sovereign God in the face of hardship, convinced that He knows what He’s doing despite all appearances to the contrary, brings honour and glory to God.

            Another Scripture promise I cling to in this regard comes from one of the apostles who suffered most severely, Paul, who wrote: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” (2Cor. 1:3-4) Here, troubles not only provide an opportunity for God to show us His Holy Spirit is indeed the Comforter; troubles also provide the Body of the church a chance to practice sharing comfort with others.

            During my wife’s illness, we have been blessed by many volunteers delivering meals and taking time to visit with her while I carry on my employment duties. Then one day this past week, a couple of dozen workers showed up to spend several hours grooming our flowerbeds and generally improving our yard, making a startling improvement in its appearance. Several remarked what a good time they had doing it, too. So hardships and afflictions not only give the individual a chance to grow spiritually: they provide the faith community a platform from which to show forth God’s lovingkindness in a tangible way. Sounds like something He might have designed for our good and His glory!

Woman AGLOW (all done radiation)

Today Yvonne completed all 5 radiation treatments prescribed by her radiologist at London Regional Cancer Program, Dr. B. Fisher. When we had our initial interview with her April 24, Dr. Fisher had not fully reviewed Yvonne's file, so we were prepared for up to ten treatments. However after examining the MRI data more closely, Dr. Fisher determined fewer treatments would be needed, since the dosage could be increased as the tumour (22 mm) was more localized than back in 2006.

Here is a shot of Yvonne on the table at the machine, with two friendly technicians, one of whom is holding the shield that latches the patient's head immovably to the table during the radiation...

Next, we have an appointment with Yvonne's neuroncologist Dr. David Macdonald this Friday (May 18), when he will review the chemotherapy (Temodal) she has been taking since April 13. Also probably the steroid (dexamethasone) she has been taking since March 20 -- she is showing some swelling around her face and lower legs.

Yvonne's mobility has been less steady lately, needing an accompanying arm to maintain her balance. I got the stairlift working again (replaced batteries) and today took a wheelchair along with us to facilitate things at LRCP.

We are eagerly anticipating the arrival of our oldest daughter Emily (Wierenga) and her 3-year-old daughter Aria later today from Neerlandia AB (northwest of Edmonton), until Friday. Also our son Keith is scheduled to stop in midweek for an overnight.

Thank you all for your continued prayers and concern. Special thanks to Allan & Lloy Grose who welcomed us to stay at their condo in southeast London during last week's intensive treatment daily for radiation, so we didn't have to drive back and forth each day. Yvonne's next MRI is July 9 so hopefully that will show some beneficial effects from the combined chemotherapy and radiation.

For any using Spotify -- here is a playlist of uplifting music our youngest daughter Meredith put together.

(Photo: Yvonne joins in the tradition of ringing the gong at LRCP to mark completion of radiation treatment)

Give It Your Best Shot

There have been some encouraging developments since my March 19 post. After a couple of weeks on steroids to reduce internal swelling in Yvonne's brain, we noticed some moderate improvement in her condition - increased alertness in particular. At first the neuroncologist's nurse suggested we might be looking at "comfort measures only" because we had not seen 'dramatic' improvement on the steroids. However April 13 the neuroncologist seemed impressed enough by Yvonne's improvement that he agreed to begin chemotherapy (Temadol, same as the 15 months in 2015-2016) and to arrange a consultation with a radiologist.

Yvonne began the chemotherapy pills that night -- very convenient that we can take them daily at home. She has not experienced nausea or other noticeable side effects. She has a little facial swelling the past few days but that may be due more to the steroids.

We met with the same radiologist (Dr. B. Fisher) Yvonne had back in 2006 for her 30 treatments. She approved ten treatments (higher dosage than in 2006) May 8-21, Mondays to Fridays. Yvonne was fitted for the mask that fits over her face to hold her head steady in the machine (see sample photo).

A friend has graciously offered us a place to stay in London while the treatments are on, for which we are very thankful! Also, our oldest daughter Emily and her 3-year-old daughter Aria are coming for a visit May 14-18. Our son Keith plans to stop in for a night May 16. Also we were treated to a visit from our daughter Allison from Germany April 6-10, and our youngest daughter Meredith (with her husband Davies and 3 preschool children) April 6-13. And we got to spend a few days at Easter with our son Keith, Darcie, and their family near Kemptville. So it has been very good to have family around.

A dedicated team of volunteers has been using the MealTrain.com website to book spots to "sit with Yvonne" while I'm at work, and to bring delicious supper meals Monday / Wednesday / Friday, which is a HUGE blessing!

Thanks everyone for your concern, notes, and support in so many tangible ways. Knowing some treatments are being attempted gives hope for more weeks (months?) ahead -- the doctors doubt the aggressive tumour can be 'cured' by these means, but the treatments may help. An MRI a couple of months after beginning the chemo is expected to indicate whether it (or radiation) has been effective.

We just finished listening to Steven Curtis Chapman's biographical audiobook, Between Heaven and the Real World, in which he describes the agony he and his wife endured when one of their daughters was killed in a car accident (their son was driving). Whatever woes we may encounter in this life, the prospect of eternity with the Lord does bring real comfort and hope.

As Job expressed his faith in tough times, "The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised."(Job 1:21) We have to trust that our Heavenly Father who gave for us what was most precious to Him - His only begotten Son Jesus - has good eventually in store for us, and with Jesus will give us as well all things for our welfare.“If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all— how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:31-32)

Despite the Doctor's Disappointing Diagnosis

   A couple of weeks ago, we started to notice some changes in Yvonne's condition. She was sleeping more, up to 90% of the time. She would trace patterns on tablecloths, repeatedly. She wasn't even finishing her morning coffee! Several times I would wake up close to morning and find her having slipped out of bed onto the bedroom floor. Her lower lip protruded and words were fewer.
   At our family doctor's office's suggestion, I took her to emergency at Wingham Hospital, where the doctor on call arranged a CT scan that evening at Listowel. The CT scan did not show signs of a stroke or anything definitely out of order, but our neuroncologist at London Regional Cancer Program moved ahead a routine 6-month periodic MRI from May to March 14. Today we found out the results.

   The photo on the left is from her previous MRI Nov. 20 2017; the one on the right is the most recent one (Mar.14/18). The view is as if looking up from the base of her skull, with face side shown on top. You can see in both photos the large empty area filled with liquid from where the surgeon removed her right frontal lobe back in the initial surgery in 2003.
   What's new is the largish tumour at the right (actually the left side of her brain). As the radiologist report notes, "Postcontrast, there is new irregular enhancement in the left frontal lobe measuring 22 mm."
   Here is another view before the dye contrast was applied:

   The 'whitening' in the more recent image on the right is not a good sign. As the radiologist put it, 'There has been signficant worsening in the left frontal lobe. Parenchymal T2 signal is more extensive with greater fullness. It is more heterogeneous."
   Yvonne's neuroncologist Dr. David Macdonald estimates the 'new' tumour is likely to be a more aggressive Grade 4 than the original Grade 2 astrocytoma back in 2003.
   What are the treatment options? To begin, a steroid (dexamethasone) to hopefully immediately decrease some swelling and improve function in the short term (you can see how the tumour growth is causing brain matter to bulge into the normally-empty ventricle mid-brain).
   The tumour is deep enough that surgery could do more damage than help because of cutting through healthy tissue.
   As for radiation -- perhaps a few treatments could help (e.g. 10 instead of the 30 Yvonne received back in 2006), although that side of the brain was already radiated back in the previous treatment. And there could be collateral damage due to additional diffuse 'radiation burn'.
   Chemotherapy could be attempted again; the 15 month treatment with Temozolamide ('Temodal') in 2014-15 proved effective. However the cells in this tumour presumably escaped that drug and may have developed resistance. Other chemo drugs (e.g. Bevacizumab - 'Avastin') could be an option but come with their own risks (blood clots).
   In short, Dr. Macdonald estimates Yvonne's situation "could be" / "is probably" palliative. It's doubtful that treatment would knock back the new aggressive tumour. Focus would be more on alleviating symptoms and enhancing Yvonne's quality of life for the time she has left, rather than attempting heroic efforts at giving her extra months but at the cost of making her miserable through potential chemo side effects.
   I will be contacting Yvonne's case manager at the local LHIN (formerly CCAC) to see if Yvonne's new status would qualify her for more home / respite care. Dr. Macdonald noted a local hospital may also have palliative care beds available when needed.

It was a sobering drive home from London, although some of Robin Mark's music helped. His song "There's a Cry" has a chorus repetition:

Your Kingdom, Your Name and, Your Throne will last forever (8X)

Some things last forever -- in God's realm. Not us mortals. Yet the wonder is that, when we are "in Christ", we understand we can look forward to a resurrected, glorified body like Jesus'.

~Chorus~
Those who weep
Return with songs of joy
You have turned, their mourning into dancing
Those who seek
Shall find the Lord of lords
Jesus Christ, desire of all the nations

Days like this, one can be forgiven for feeling like weeping and mourning; yet this whets our desire even more for eternal things, and the eternal life Jesus promises.

One other song of Robin Mark's was playing; a very simple melody, upbeat -- yet the childlike faith of "We're Believing" (on Spotify) also points to some massive eternal realities that outlast us and the Bible invites us to bank on...

The Lamb of God once slain before the world was made 

Has turned our mourning into dancing once again 

Knowing that the promise is true 

Knowing that our hope is in You 

We're believing, we're believing 

Telling of the love we have found 

Living lives that You turned around 

Still believing in You 

The Alpha and Omega, God's anointed Son 

This world will praise You for the works that You have done! 

There's a song of praise on our lips 

There's a song of joy in our hearts 

And we're believing, we're believing 

Believing that the promise is true 

Living out a life that is new 

We're believing in You

The Reformation’s Reverberations

    500 years ago this week – October 31, 1517 – an obscure monk in a backwater university town in Germany posted a list of points for academic debate that kicked off a theological and political revolution. The implications of Martin Luther’s 95 Theses echo on down the corridors of time to our own day.
    Medieval society was locked into tyrannies of various forms: corruption in the Roman Catholic Church resulted in people of all classes being bilked of their limited resources by paying “indulgences” in hopes that deceased loved ones would thus be spared years of punishment in purgatory. Churchgoers were encouraged to venerate relics purported to be associated with saints, and to undertake harrowing pilgrimages, in hopes of accumulating merit that would aid their souls. Political leaders ruled by force in a system of feudalism that kept the majority oppressed and landless at the bottom of the social order.
    The Protestant Reformation (as it became known) changed all that. Martin Luther’s ideas became wildly popular and spread broadly thanks to Gutenberg’s newly-invented printing press. Luther translated the original Biblical languages into a new German Bible that common people could read for themselves, thus encouraging basic literacy and a common point of reference for morality – by which even rulers could be held to account. The democracy that we enjoy today became a possibility.
    There were notable gains for women, too. A female colleague comments, “The Reformation freed us from the misogyny that plagued the medieval Catholic church. It was a significant step on a journey that has made it possible for us as women to be where we are today: active, respected contributors in our homes, the church, and wherever we dream of walking.”
    As the Reformation progressed and matured, five Latin phrases emerged which came to summarize the proponents’ main contentions. How do each of these compare with the ideologies of our own day? How might 21st-century Canadian culture use these to critique its own sometimes unspoken ultimate goals and implicit assumptions? In what ways do these call us to review our own chief purposes and aims in life?
    “Soli Deo Gloria” – we live for the glory of God alone. Mantras in culture might be, “Live for the moment”; “Do whatever turns your crank”; YOLO - “You Only Live Once”; “Get all you can, while you can”; and, “He who dies with the most toys wins.” Advertising morphs us into a fundamentally selfish society, seeking our maximum pleasure through buying the latest gadget or personally-enhancing product. But (as Justin Holcomb explains) the Reformers maintained: “God’s glory is the central motivation for salvation... God is not a means to an end—he is the means and the end. The goal of all of life is to give glory to God alone: ‘Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God’ (1 Corinthians 10:31).” We find our ultimate purpose, and life’s true meaning, in reference to God, not ourselves.
    “Solus Christus” – Jesus Christ alone is our Lord, Saviour, and King. Modern society touts the “self-made man”; naturalism tells us “big fish eat little fish” so in our closed system, the way to get ahead is to promote yourself, work hard, put in long hours, and maybe someday you’ll see the light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately many climb the ladder of success only to find it leaning against the wrong wall. That amounts to a life misspent. By contrast, the Reformers understood: “God has given the ultimate revelation of himself to us by sending Jesus Christ (Colossians 1:15). Only through God’s gracious self-revelation in Jesus do we come to a saving and transforming knowledge of God.” (Holcomb) We can’t save ourselves or go it alone: bottom line – we need Jesus.
    “Sola fide” / “Sola gratia”: we are saved through faith alone in Jesus Christ; and, we are saved by the grace of God alone. Our capitalist society puts much stock in the work world – accumulating assets, putting in long hours, clambering your way up the corporate ladder... often at tremendous cost to family relationships and personal health. When people toil for years and fail to achieve goals they’d hoped for, despair and disillusion may set in, tempting them to anaesthetize their emptiness or anomie by substance abuse or self-harm. But the Reformers held that good works (such as climbing up the steps of St. Peter’s on your knees) are not the way to get Brownie points with God. It has to be by faith, simply trusting God and accepting His free gift through Jesus’ own work at the cross. As Ephesians 2:8-9 puts it, “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”
    Humanism paints an optimistic, rosy picture of human nature – one that is betrayed by the tragic conflicts and genocides of the 20th century. By way of juxtaposition, Holcomb notes: “As humans, we inherited (from our ancestor Adam) a nature that is enslaved to sin. Because of our nature, we are naturally enemies of God and lovers of evil. We need to be made alive (regenerated) so that we can even have faith in Christ. God graciously chooses to give us new hearts so that we trust in Christ and are saved through faith alone.”
    The fifth ‘sola’ – “Sola Scriptura”: The Bible alone is our highest authority. Modern mantras are, “Be your own boss,” “Make your own rules,” “Don’t let anyone tell you what to do,” “Might makes right.” Respect for those in positions of authority has plummeted: teachers struggle to cope with rowdy students; police forces clash with protesters; criminals target unsuspecting homeowners even on the backroads of Huron County. Anarchy is on the rise, as people’s capacity for submission to proper authority diminishes. The Reformers, though, held that civic and ecclesiastical authorities can be held accountable to God’s truth revealed in the Bible. As the common German peasant heard Luther’s Bible preached, s/he came to understand that even the Pope would someday have to answer to God, and certain long-held ecclesiastical practices were misguided.
    As Justin Holcomb writes, “The Scriptures are our ultimate and trustworthy authority for faith and practice. This doesn’t mean that the Bible is the only place where truth is found, but it does mean that everything else we learn about God and his world, and all other authorities, should be interpreted in light of Scripture. The Bible gives us everything we need for our theology. Every word of the 66 books of the Bible is inspired by God’s Holy Spirit.” Or as the Apostle Paul wrote to his protege Timothy, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness...”
    The reverberations of the Reformation begun five centuries ago continue to echo through time and challenge our latest idolatries and distorted values, calling us to re-evaluate in light of what really matters eternally.

Plowing of the Soul

My father Norman Dow demonstrating use
of a walking plow at a local plowing match.

The 100^th International Plowing Match happening nearby in Walton has captured the attention of many in our area this month. I have memories of attending the IPM as a child along with our farming family – some of those memories muddier than others! My father in his nursing home room has proudly on display a trophy he won 70 years ago in the 1947 IPM as a young farmer starting out post-war at the age of 27. (That was with horses.) And about 40 years ago, in 1987 as a young pastor starting out on St. Joseph Island, I was privileged to place first (with a tractor) at a local plowing match. What can I say – it was a small class!

Plowing is a skill that involves three aspects that have significance in the spiritual domain. It is an inversion of the soil. It requires careful regulation of depth. And prize-winning plowing necessitates maintaining a painfully straight direction.

First, plowing is fundamentally an inversion of the soil, turning it upside-down so the nutrients that have sunk to lower depths, perhaps leached down by rainfall, are brought back up to the surface where the next crop of plants can use them. This action of inverting the soil also helps aerate it and loosen its texture, making it easier for roots to penetrate.

In the spiritual realm, plowing corresponds to repentance and confession of sin. Repentance is an upheaval, an about-turn in our spiritual orientation. About 600 B.C. Jeremiah prophesied to the people of Jerusalem and Judah, “Break up your unplowed ground and do not sow among thorns.” (Jer.4:3) He was not talking about agriculture! Context shows God was calling people to do an about-face, to return to Him and abandon the detestable idols they had been worshipping. The Lord was calling them to a spiritual revolution, to circumcise their hearts and turn from their evil ways (v.4).

Similarly, when Jesus began His earthly ministry, His opening words were a call for people to invert themselves in terms of outlook and commitment. “The kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news!” (Mark 1:15) What infertile ‘hardpan’, prejudices, and indifference have we allowed to creep into our lives?

Second, plowing requires careful setting of the equipment’s depth of cut. Usually a competitor will make some practice strokes on a nearby patch of ground to set the plow before beginning on the official plot. Set it too shallow and the furrows won’t be wide enough; set it too deep and you may bury the plow!

Spiritually, genuine repentance leads to the practice of confession. Jesus emphasized the importance of confession by anchoring it squarely at the heart of The Lord’s Prayer. “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (Matthew 6:12) Or as many of us were taught, “Forgive us our trespasses...” Coming before a holy infinitely pure and righteous God, we are reminded of our impurity, the many ways we have fallen short.

Our trashy behaviour. One four-year-old boy misheard the Lord’s Prayer, and so came to recite his own slightly modified version: “And forgive us our trash-baskets, as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.” Sin does treat others in trashy manner, doesn’t it? Paul urged the church, “Forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13)

Repentance means we go into sufficient depth about our sin during our prayer of confession to ‘make it real’. No vague skimming the surface! Thomas Watson observed, “A child of God will confess sin in particular; an unsound Christian will confess sin by wholesale – he will acknowledge that he is a sinner in general.”

Plowing of the soul involves inversion; requires depth; and, third, it involves going straight. A championship plower picks a distant object on the horizon and keeps their tractor pointed at it so their furrows end up arrow-straight, and absolutely parallel to one another. It could spell catastrophe to look back too often and let the tractor begin to swerve even a hair. Jesus alluded to the recognized need for straightness in plowing when He said, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:62)

Spiritually speaking, when it comes to the discipline of repentance and confession, the distant point of reference on the horizon has to be God, rather than any compelling goal the world may offer. Confession fundamentally is not just being sorry for the consequences when I’ve messed up: true confession is to agree with God’s appraisal of the evilness and wickedness of my sin – the bankruptcy of my very nature, which inclines to do wrong all too readily.

Hosea about 700 B.C. prophesied to the northern kingdom of Israel about how their actions were off-kilter compared to God’s holy standards. “I will drive Ephraim, Judah must plow, and Jacob must break up the ground. Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the LORD, until he comes and showers righteousness on you.” (Hosea 10:11f) It is not enough just to be uprooting and plowing: we need to actively seek the Lord in order to understand His guidance for how to live each day, to discover His direction for righteousness. The Holy Spirit through the inspired writing of the Bible is our roadmap providing necessary direction and orientation to ‘true north’.

This past Sunday at the Christian Reformed Church in Blyth, a student from the Teen Challenge Farm near London shared a confession relating to a painful uprooting in his life. A First Responder, he was deeply affected when a female victim of a car crash died in his arms. Developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, he lost his job, turned to alcohol to numb the pain, and eventually was divorced by his wife. When he bottomed out, he acknowledged his addiction and entered the program at Teen Challenge. He graduates later this month and was happy to report he has been able to reconcile with his wife! But apart from repentance and the Lord’s re-direction, the story might have had an outcome that was much more grim.

So, keep plowing with eternal perspective! Undertake the moral upheaval of repentance. Go deep in your confession – don’t just skim the surface. And develop spiritual insight through learning God’s ways in order to stay heaven-focused and not swerve from His righteous leading.