The calendar tells us it is now officially Spring – season of new life, as nature awakens from its long winter nap. Songs of robins and other birds can be heard in the morning. The grass begins to green up and shoots appear in flowerbeds.
Yet even in this season where life returns outdoors, death continues to puncture our existence with its seemingly untimely incursions. The news reports the father of a victim of the Sandy Hook elementary shootings who, now some 6 years after the massacre of the 20 students in Connecticut, apparently has taken his own life. We occasionally hear of other members in our own community taking their life, some just college age. Very sad... Such deaths leave parents, other family members, and close friends reeling, scratching their heads and wondering what more they might have done to prevent the deaths if they had only known.
Such events remind me of my own experience of a close family member who committed suicide twenty years ago. My mother-in-law had been living beside our home in her own ‘granny flat’. She had been struggling through some health issues but seemed to be coping well enough. When it became apparent we would be moving across the province, she listened attentively to our description of retirement residence options that might suit her. But one day my wife and I unexpectedly found her deceased in her flat, by her own doing. The shock was traumatic; the grief was heart-breaking. I could only hold my wife and try to comfort her as she sobbed uncontrollably. How were we to know her mother was even considering such a drastic step?
The Bible’s perspective is that human life is precious, not to be discounted or thrown away lightly. We are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). Scripture tells us, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His faithful servants” (Psalm 116:15). God impressed upon Noah the preciousness of human life, imposing a sentence of death for anyone who takes another’s life, “For in the image of God has God made man” (Genesis 9:6). In regard to our high value to our Maker, Jesus told His disciples the very hairs of their head were all numbered, and they were worth more than many sparrows (Matthew 10:31).
It is true that several individuals in Bible times did commit suicide; but these are not viewed in a positive light. King Saul fell on his own sword when defeated by the Philistines (1 Sam. 31:4). Judas hung himself after betraying Jesus to His enemies, being subsequently seized with remorse (Mt. 27:5). Even the prophet Elijah, threatened by a wicked and powerful monarch, became so exhausted and discouraged that he begged God to take his life (1Kings 19:4).
Discouragements are not uncommon in life. Setbacks and sicknesses can be disheartening and demoralizing at times. Jesus warned us life would not be easy: “Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Mt.6:34) The Bible is realistic in its acknowledgment of the pitfalls, perils, and problems that await us in a fallen world. Yet it remains optimistic in the scope of eternity. Trials become the means by which we can comfort others with the comfort we ourselves experience from God in our own afflictions (2Cor.1:3f). We can even ‘count it all joy’ when we face trials because they foster perseverance and maturity of character (James 1:3f).
Some years ago I attended a workshop on suicide prevention. We were taught to assess suicide risk based on factors such whether the person was having suicidal thoughts; whether they had devised an actual plan; and whether they had actually gone about procuring the means needed to carry out such a plan. If all these things were in place, need for intervention was high because the risk of carrying through was very serious. A sudden upturn in attitude might not be a good thing because it could signal that the person had actually decided to go through with their plan and so was emotionally relieved, now they knew an end to their pain was in sight.
Besides teaching us what signs to watch for in interacting with someone who might be suicidal, the workshop impressed upon us the need to be ready to ask a simple direct question: “Are you having suicidal thoughts?” Many more people have suicidal thoughts than actually decide to go through with it and take their own life. Just because a person is having suicidal thoughts does not necessarily mean they will actually commit suicide. In fact, giving the troubled person permission to talk about their worries and fears and stresses by asking such a question can go a long way towards helping prevent things from getting worse. It normalizes their experience, reassures them it’s all right to have suicidal thoughts flit through their mind when pressures mount; but they are also given an ally in the listener, one who cares enough to ask the tough questions, and walk alongside them in an effort to help them find better solutions.
Besides confiding in a close friend we can trust who understands us and our situation, Scripture also encourages us to turn to God in prayer when discouraged. The Psalmist was a good example of this: David, for example, faced many obstacles and powerful opponents, but learned to trust in God. He wrote, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all...” (Ps.34:18f) Jesus offers us fullness of life and saves us when we’re feeling overwhelmed; He contrasts His own mission with that of the devil in John 10(10), “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
So, if you encounter someone who’s struggling, don’t be afraid to speak up and ask a simple question such as, “You seem to be having a very hard time; are you struggling with suicidal thoughts?” You just may save a life, and the person could be forever grateful to you. When you ask, be prepared to come alongside them in a supportive way, assisting them to reach out for help, making the phone call or contacting authorities as may be needed.
If you yourself are struggling, don’t pretend you can just manage it on your own. You have allies in the community who will help you get back on your feet. Cultivate an active prayer life, journalling your hopes and fears, crying out to God when no one else seems to care. The Lord knows yours issues and weaknesses and can save you from the grips of the situation. One time David and his companions suffered a terrible blow when raiders took their families and possessions. David must have felt like giving up. Yet the Bible tells us, “David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him... But David found strength in the LORD his God.” (1Samuel 30:6) And – things DID turn out in the end!
(Resources: Huron-Perth Helpline & Crisis Response Team: 1-888-829-7484. Ontario Crisis Line: 1-866-531-2600.)
Monday, March 25, 2019
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