Blast 'em Out of Their Seats

INTRO TO “SOUL’S DESIRE” (BY ROBIN MARK) AT YVONNE’S FUNERAL - July 16, 2018

This next song, which is a video we’re going to invite you to stay sitting and just sing along to as the lyrics come on the screen, is a pretty special one. Yvonne in her own handwriting back on Nov. 29 2004 set out some “Funeral Wishes and Requests” - at that point, some 14 years ago, she’d already been dealing with the pain and discomfort and complications of this brain tumour for a couple of years. She clearly specified, as she put it, “No organ music droning in the background please...” (Instead, along with the other songs we’re using for congregational singing, quote) “Robin Mark ‘Revival in Belfast II’ CD [turn it up on #9 - blast em out of their seats (smiley) & imagine me singing from Heaven].”

Robin Mark was probably Yvonne’s most favourite musical artist; he’s a Brit, from Northern Ireland, and we’ve had opportunity to see him perform in person numerous times. This song though, called “Soul’s Desire”, is particularly masterfully done. In part, it goes:

Lord of the Earth the sea the sky
In glory and power
How can it be that I’m Your child
And You are my Father...
There’s a flag in my hand
and I am waving, I am waving
waving it for you just to make you smile.

The image here is of a little child, son or daughter, yearning to catch their father’s gaze and know they are pleasing him by such a simple act as waving a flag. Christian faith at its root is about this intimacy with a loving Heavenly Father.

Sin and evil are revolting to a holy God; divine wrath is justifiably waiting to be poured out upon human rebellion and depravity, it’s abominable to the glorious almighty Creator that His Creatures would turn their backs on Him and refuse to honour and glorify Him. That’s the essence of sin – preferring anything else over God, who is all-glorious, perfect, good, holy, beautiful, radiant, and loving. The image a lot of people have of God is some gruff old codger waiting to nail us when we mess up (so they write God off – who could possibly warm up to that?).

But the New Testament and most especially the cross of Jesus change all that. The Good News is that the Father sent the Son to take upon Himself our sin and guilt and shame, suffering in our place so we could be forgiven and ‘put right’ with God, brought back together, the relationship restored and us transformed, given a heart transplant. Romans 5:8, “God demonstrates His own love toward us in that, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” That changes the whole dynamic! Now through faith in Jesus, we can enjoy a loving, warm, intimate relationship with a caring heavenly Father who delights in His children. Galatians 3:26 & 4:6, “For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus...And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, ‘Abba! Father!’ [papa]”

A little girl, catching that gleam in her daddy’s eye, seeing his smile, knowing he’s pleased with her... Zephaniah 3:17, “He will rejoice over you with singing” – I know nothing would make Yvonne more happy than if one of those listening came to grasp that truth for the first time today.

“You are my soul’s desire,” the song says. Yvonne had to put up with listening to a lot of John Piper’s podcasts in the car with me. His thrust is Christian hedonism, that “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.” We can fight sin best by seeing and savouring the greatness and goodness of our Lord and Saviour – Desiring God above any other false god Satan might try to entice us with. Paul in prison, preparing himself to be executed if it comes to that, could write to the Philippians in 1:21, “For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” Jesus is glorified especially in the hour of our death when it becomes apparent to all around that we prefer Him, we desire Him more than anything this world can offer. As Paul puts it in the next breath (1:23), “having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better”!

So, as we sing, let’s do as Yvonne says, ‘imagine me singing from Heaven’ – at peace, finding pleasure in God’s presence, knowing the Heavenly Father’s delight; “I will exalt Your name again, Most High, every way I can.”

Rounding 3rd Base, Heading for Home

It's an endearing scene. The baseball player has just rounded third base, high-fived the coach, and is headed toward a crowd of teammates clustered around home plate ready to welcome him.

Of course, baseball had not been invented when the New Testament was written, but its authors used imagery that was somewhat analogous...

• "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us..." (Hebrews 12:1)
• "Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." (2Peter 1:10f)

'A great cloud of witnesses...' 'A RICH welcome...'  I like that!

It would seem that Yvonne is "rounding the final bend" in her journey toward her heavenly home. A couple of weeks ago she started having difficulty standing or keeping her balance. The LHIN team brought in a "sit-to-stand lift" and provided training on it to various PSWs (Personal Support Workers) so they could manage the transfers and personal care Yvonne required. June 30 Yvonne seemed very much affected by the heat wave that lasted several days into the following week -- she was unable to stay sitting upright at the table, her pulse was rapid and her blood pressure elevated -- so we relocated to our basement until the oppressive heat lifted. Her vital signs seemed to return to nearer normal levels.

Yesterday something new happened on the way to church: I had been seating her in the rollator/walker for the transfer from our front door to the car, but this time she seemed unable to sit upright, instead becoming a sort of "floppy doll" requiring support. Plus she slept most of the day, even through the church service and its singing which she usually enjoys.
 
Today Yvonne had her next scheduled MRI and follow-up with her neuroncologist. It confirmed our suspicions from our previous meeting June 15: it would seem the chemotherapy is having negligible effect. The tumour on her left side (reversed in the picture, opposite the original right frontal lobectomy) has grown rather than shrunk. (see photo: today's scan on left, one from March on right)

Her bloodwork did not exactly portray a rosey picture, either. Her blood sugar was high, probably affected by the steroid she is taking (dexamethasone). Her liver seems affected: bilirubin and enzymes were both over normal limits. Plus it seems she is dehydrated.

Consequently Dr. Macdonald determined it would be best to stop the chemotherapy (temozolomide) as this may help the liver recover. He is also ramping down the steroid partly to address the blood sugar issue. "Comfort measures" from this point on.

After discussion with the family, last Tuesday when the nurse was here I had requested signing of the "Do Not Resuscitate" (DNR) paperwork in order that the EDITH (Expected Death In The Home) could be put in place, and it seemed the kinder and gentler approach to spare Yvonne extraordinary recovery-attempt measures (chest pumping, electric shock, intubation etc.) when probability of a satisfactory recovery seems minute.

I asked the neuroncologist and the resident what their 'best guess' in terms of time left for Yvonne would be -- knowing of course they can't tell for sure, but they have much experience with many other patients in similar condition. Dr. Macdonald estimated 'less than a month'; the resident was even less optimistic - 'days'.

Listening to a Ravi Zacharias podcast in the car, we were reminded of the four key areas any worldview has to address: questions of origin (how did we get here?), destiny (where are we going?), meaning (why am I here?), and morality (how do we determine what's right and wrong?). Yvonne & I stopped in to visit another parishioner at another hospital on the way home. He remarked concerning Yvonne, "At least we know where she's going." Thanks to Jesus' sacrifice at the cross so we can be forgiven, and God's gift of faith in Him, we have confidence concerning her destiny at least. While she is indeed rounding the last bend in her earthly journey, a warm welcome awaits her from a faithful cloud of witnesses -- and our Eternal Contemporary.